We all thrive to be the best person we can be. More often than not, we end up disappointed. It’s really hard to suppress the evil in us. It’s not our born nature that dictates who we become, it’s our choices that shape our future. You want to be a free soul, don’t murder and end up in jail. Easy. The extreme evil is easy to suppress, like the murderer in us, the thief in us,the lunatic in us. The borderline evil is the hardest. We justify it to push it to the not-so-evil side. The friend betrayer, the backstabber, the liar. We reason with ourself, that it was a necessary action and a victimless crime. Sometimes the line is so blurred that we no longer know who the victim is, us or them?
Deep down, we are all horrible people, gossiping and hurting unsuspecting friends. Almost all the people I know have been a victim of a hate crime, including myself. When that incident happened, I felt disgraced and hated by many, and no one was standing by me. But we all got through it, haven’t we? People say, those who stood by you in times of trouble were the ones who are genuine to the friendship. But truth to be told, I feel that the reason they stood by can simply be one of convenience. Chances are they probably have no friends to begin with, or they have a hidden agenda, like they happen to hate the same people who hated me. After secondary school, I’ve learn to be more subtle about my intentions regardless of it’s nature. The only way to keep out of such trouble is to learn to be independent. When you rely on people, and they turn their back on you, the mere thought is devastating. I have taken all sense of dependency for my friends, molded it and gave it to my bf. So the burden my bf have is probably too much for him to even realise it. It’s not the kind of pressure I want him to know either.
People around me recently are too whiny for me. I have kept them at bay but not as far as I would ideally want. I can’t decide who I resent more, the whiny ones or the depressing one. Some people are just oh so depressing to be with! I’m fine with you telling me your problem but don’t make it mine. I really hope I’d meet more cheery people in the future because life’s too short be live by gloomily. I feel that I secretly hate everyone I meet. -_- how cynical. I think the worst of people and I need to change but I have always been diplomatic enough to never let people find out how much I detest them. In conclusion, I’m a horrible horrible person,who distrust any human being who comes close to me, who hates depressing people and contradictory.
Cheers!
